Episode One

Hello world, and welcome to Tales of an Underpaid Scheduler, where the craziness and silliness of working in outpatient scheduling is made public.

Tonight's episode: mammograms.

patient: Hi! I'm calling to schedule a mammogram. 

me: Is your order for a screening or diagnostic mammogram?

pt: Yes, it's for a diagnostic mammogram.

me: Alright, and what is the diagnosis that's written on the order?

pt: Follow up. It's my 6 month follow up.

me: Okay, well next available is July 6. 

pt: Are you serious? That far away? I'm having issues I cannot wait that long.

me: Well, if you are having issues then you'll need a new order with a diagnosis of what the issues are.

pt: Not true. it's obvious what the issues are. You are not clinical, you don't understand. So schedule me ASAP.

me: I'm sorry, but if there are issues the department does need to know what those issues are and they will need a new order. A follow up is one thing, but if you are having issues that is another thing that requires a new order.

pt: I want to speak to the manager you don't know what you're talking about.

me: Okay, if you insist.  

pt: Hi, i'm calling to schedule a mammogram.

me: And is it a screening or diagnostic?

pt: Yes.

me: No, which one is it. A screening mammogram or a diagnostic mammogram?

pt: I already told you, yes.

me: I don't think you understand. There are two different kinds of mammograms and I need to know which one I am scheduling you for. Which one does your order say, screening or diagnostic?

pt: No, I don't think you are understanding me. I already answered your question.

me: It's not a yes or no response. I think there is some sort of disconnect. Please read to me what your order says, if it is a screening or diagnostic mammogram.

pt: Yes! 

me: I'm sorry ma'am, but I cannot move forward with scheduling with that information. Please read to me what your order says.

pt: m-a-m-m-o-g-r-a-m. I already told you.

me: