Friday, July 23, 2021

Episode 27

 pt: I'm calling to schedule my mammogram.

me: Great, do you have the order?

pt: I do, yes. 

me: Is it a screening or diagnostic mammogram?

pt: Just a screening.

me: Does it have 3D or tomo on the order?

pt: I don't know. It's downstairs.

me: Well will you please get the order? I do need that information.

pt: Why?

me: That is clinical information on the order that I need to schedule correctly. So the department requires patient's have the order when we schedule.

pt: *long pause* So why do I need to go downstairs and get the order?

me: I just told you. There is clinical information on the order that the department requires we ask for when scheduling so that we schedule the correct test.

pt: No, I'm not walking all the way downstairs to get my order. I already told you it's a screening mammogram. 

me: If you won't get your order I can't schedule. I'm sorry.

pt: It's just a screening mammogram. Why can't you schedule?

me: I'm sorry. That's the protocol. If you won't get your order from downstairs I cannot schedule you. I need that information from the order.

pt: Then I'm not coming to your hospital for my mammogram! That's ridiculous!

me: I mean, it's literally downstairs. All you have to do is go down and get it and we can set up an appointment.

pt: I'm calling a different hospital! This is the dumbest protocol I've ever heard!! *click*

Lazy biatch.

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