pt: I need you to look up my colonoscopy right now and we need to change the time.
me: I'm sorry, you'll have to call the doctor's office because we don't schedule or reschedule those appointments. The office does.
pt: Well I talked to one of you girls yesterday and she set up an appointment so that's not right. Just look it up and cancel it.
me: Our department doesn't schedule those tests. So it must not have been someone in our department you spoke with for that test. You have to call the office. I can give you their number if you'd like.
pt: My name is Karen Smith. What appointment do I have on the 23rd?
me: *pulls up pt* Okay Karen, you're scheduled for a mammogram on the 26th. That's the only thing I show you scheduled for. And it does look like it was scheduled yesterday. So that must be what test you scheduled in our department.
pt: Why the hell did she tell me the 23rd then for my colonoscopy?
me: I'm not sure that happened. It sounds like there is just a misunderstanding.
pt: Now I need my colonoscopy then. The number on the paper was your number to call and schedule.
me: Ma'am, I already told you that you have to call the doctors office.
pt: But it says on this paper that I need to call you.
me: Well the paper is incorrect. It's really not a big deal, I can give you the office number.
pt: I'll just call my doctor there seems to be a mix up. I need a new paper then!
me: I mean, you really don't have to do that. All you need to do is call the gastro office. I have their number right here.
pt: Okay I'll call my doctor who gave me this paper. I want this mix up figured out this is ridiculous. *click*
me: 
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