Episode 49

me: Scheduling, how can I help you?

pt: I can't find you!

me: Well, what are you looking for? What test are you having done?

pt: The New Center! My test is at the new center and I can't find you. I'm on the campus of Wrong College but it's not here.

me: You're at the wrong location. The building you are looking for is at the corner of Candy Lane and Sucker St. Pull onto the Right College campus from Sucker St. the building will be on your left. The address is 12345 Address Blvd.

pt: Great thanks!

me: Scheduling, how can I help you?

pt: I still can't find you!!

me: Are you still looking for The New Center?

pt: Well yes! I'm at Chocolate Street and Dummy Road! That's where you said it was!

me: No, I said to go to Candy Lane and Sucker Street. Pull onto Sucker Street. Then Address Blvd and The New Center is on your left.

pt: Got it okay!

me: Scheduling, how can I help you?

pt: I still cannot find you and I've been driving around for 3 hours and my appointment time was 20 minutes ago! You haven't been telling me where to go!

me: Ma'am, I have talked to you twice already this morning and given you directions both times. Where are you now?

pt: I'm in the food court!

me: Food court? Where did you go there isn't a food court near the building...

pt: I'm on Rocky Road over by the store next to the food court!

me: Well how did you get over there? That's nowhere near where I told you to go. And besides, we'll have to reschedule your appointment since it was 20 minutes ago.

pt: This is fucking bullshit! What about giving me the appointment of the patient who took my spot?

me: No one took your spot, I'm confused. If you missed your appointment, the person after you didn't necessarily show up and take your spot. They would have shown up for their appointment time which would have been after yours. So we need to reschedule.

pt: Well maybe you should give better directions. I'm pissed this is crazy! I've been driving around and I can't find the building! This is your fault!

me: I am sorry, but I don't know how else to help or what better instructions to give. And to be honest I don't even know where you are right now. 

pt: Fine just reschedule. 

me: Okay and what is your name?

pt: So you can't just tell the person after me that they need to reschedule so I can get my appointment today?

me: No, we will have to reschedule. What is your name so I can pull up your account?

pt: Okay I'm on Address Rd. Is the building yellow? Wait I don't even see a front door! And there is no sign! Where the hell am I?? There's no door how am I supposed to go inside? I have been to The Old Place why couldn't I have just gone there!

me: The building is straight ahead if you are on Address Rd. The front door is right there. There is a big sign that says The New Center right on the building. What is your name because like I said they will need to reschedule. They can't see you today because you are late for your appointment.

pt: Fine I'll give you my damn name. But I'm still pissed that I have to wait. I cant believe this. This is all your fault. They should have just given me the appointment for the person after me. Because clearly this is not my fault.

me: I don't really see how it's my fault considering I gave you the directions multiple times. But can you do Monday for the rescheduled appointment?

pt: Well if I can't even find the building now how am I going to find it then?

me: I scheduled you at The Old Place. Is that fine? Should be easier for you to find since you said you've been there before.

pt: Well I don't even know where that is! This is ridiculous! How am I supposed to get my test?!

me: I'm at a loss. What is it that you want me to do because I'm trying to make this easy for you.

pt: Nothing is easy! I don't even want this test anymore. 

me: