Episode 84

 me: Central Scheduling, how can I help you?

pt (talking in an extremely feminine voice): I need to schedule an appointment for myself. 

me: What is your name?

pt: Dennis Smith

me: And your phone number that would be on the account?

pt: 867-5309.

me: *the phone number is pulling up a female account with the same last name but first name Karen* And the date of birth?

pt: 01/01/1980.

me: I'm sorry, did you say you're scheduling for yourself?

pt: Yes, for Dennis Smith.

me: And you are Dennis Smith? That phone number is not pulling up the account.

not the pt: No, I'm not Dennis. Dennis is my husband.

me: Alrighty well the phone number you provided is not listed in his account so what is his phone number?

not the pt: You're telling me you can't look it up by his name?

me: We just need to make sure that we have the correct phone number on file. We have 123-4567. Is that still his number?

not the pt: But I'm scheduling his appointment so why would you need his phone number? 

me: In case any person needs to reach out regarding the appointment, what phone number should they be calling. 

not the pt: 123-4567.

me: Alright so the number we have is correct, that's good. 

not the pt: No, you should have mine.

me: I mean I can add yours to the chart as well. 

not the pt: No, I'm scheduling the appointment so you should only have my number.

me: So, the 123-4567 number you told me they should be calling is incorrect?

not the pt: No, you should be calling me.

me: Alrighty then, if any person needs to contact your husband, Dennis, regarding his appointment, what number should they be calling?

not the pt: 123-4567. 

me: That's what we already have, so that's great.