Episode 94

me: Central Scheduling, how can I help you?

pt: I need an ultrasound. You guys have the order.

me: Okay, what is your name?

pt: Francine. Francine Cook.

me: Looks like there is an order here from December, is that the one you're calling for?

pt: Correct.

me: This particular test is only done in the mornings because it's a fasting test, so no food or drink past midnight. And just to let you know they are scheduling starting the beginning of April. Is that any day that would work better for you?

pt: I need an afternoon.

me: Well, this is only done in the mornings. They don't do afternoons for this.

pt: I need an afternoon. Preferably after 3p.

me: Okay but like I mentioned previously, it is not done in the afternoons. Only mornings. 

pt: I can't do anything other than an afternoon.

me: Then I guess we are at a standstill, because as I said before this test is only done in the mornings. The system will not even allow me to put you in an afternoon spot because they do not do the test at that time. 

pt: How early do they do the appointments?

me: 7am is typically the earliest. 

pt: How about I come in at 7am tomorrow?

me: Well they are actually scheduling into April. If you are looking for a 7am the next available is April 15th. 

pt: I want tomorrow though at 7am.

me: And they do not have anything tomorrow. 

pt: So what are you going to do?

me: I mean, we can schedule for April 15th. Or we can find a different day.

pt: You're not going to make room for me? I need this test ASAP.

me: That's correct. The schedule is already full. They do not have appointments tomorrow.

pt: Wow. I can't believe that. I just told you I need this test STAT.

me: This order has been in here since December. It's marked as routine and we even called you twice to schedule back in December. If it's now a STAT test, the doctor would have to re-enter a STAT order. 

pt: I can't just tell you STAT?

me: It doesn't work like that. If it's a STAT test, the doctor needs to place a new order.

pt: I can't believe this!

what I wish I could have said: Thems the rules. I don't make the rules.