pt: Hi, I need to schedule an appointment.
me: What is your name?
pt: Karen.
me: ...and your last name?
pt: I already told you Karen. Do I need to give you both?
me: Yes, I need both.
pt: Karen Jerkface.
me: And your date of birth?
pt: OMG you need that too?!
me: Yes, we are required to ask that to verify who you are.
pt: That's just too much! I don't want to do that!
me: Well I can't schedule anything then.
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