pt: Hi, I need to schedule an MRI for my wife.
me: Okay, and what is her date of birth?
pt: August 18. It was yesterday! Are you going to sing to her? You are going to sing to her, right?
me: I'm sorry, she doesn't want that. I do not have a very good voice so it would not go over well. Trust me.
pt: Come on! Just sing!
me: I'm sorry, I am not going to sing for her. Let's just schedule her MRI. Does she have any pacemaker, metallic implants, any metal in the body at all?
pt: She ate some cheesecake this morning! That counts, right?
me: Um..
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