me: Scheduling, how can I help you?
pt: My nurses name is Jill. Please have her call me.
me: I'm sorry, this is outpatient scheduling. I don't know who Jill is and I wouldn't be able to have her call you.
pt: Well I'm here in the hospital so that's not true. Have Jill call me.
me: Sir, I have no idea who Jill even is. If you're in the hospital push the call button.
pt: Jill. J-I-L-L.
me: Again, I have no idea who that is.
pt: Come on, you have to know who Jill is.
me: Actually sir, I don't. You'll have to push the call button.
pt: J-I-L-L. I just told you what her name was. I need her to call me.
me: I really don't know how to help you. Especially when all you have is a first name.
pt: Well she doesn't have a last name so I can't tell you one!
me: Everyone has a last name.
pt: Not Jill!
me: Just push your call button. This will solve all your issues.
pt: So you can't have Jill call me?
me:
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