Episode 55

Well hello there fellow readers! Did you miss me?? 

Sorry for the hiatus. With the shift in staffing at work, we have been beyond short staffed. To the point where a normal day of 6 people has now become 2. That plus the new 10 hour shifts I'm on has made me exhausted...  But I'm back and the stories are better than ever!

This morning I was blessed with a know it all staff member at the hospital.

me: Central scheduling how can I help you?

pt: I have a pregnancy US scheduled this Wednesday but I need it to be Thursday instead.

me: Alright, looks like Thursday the only thing they have available is at 11:30am. 

pt: Oh no, that won't do. I have another appointment that same day at that time. There is nothing else that you can fit me into?

me: No, the only thing they have is the 11:30.

pt: Well I work at the facility. Can't you just move another patient to a different day so that I can be seen at a better time?

me: I cannot, no. The only thing they have is the 1130 or you can keep your Wednesday appointment.

pt: I just told you I work there, you should be squeezing me in. This is ridiculous. Just put me for 1130am.

me: *tries to put her at 1130, gets big red error* I actually can't schedule you for that 11:30 until you cancel the appointment with the other physician. The system is giving me an error saying that you already have an appointment and it will not let me double book.

pt: That other appointment is just a follow up it only take 10 minutes just put me down for 1130.

me: I'm sorry, the system won't let me overbook appointments like that. If you want the 1130am appt you will have to either cancel or reschedule your other doctor's appointment.

pt: I just told you I work there and you're not going to override the system?

me: I literally cannot override this system. It prevents double booking appointments so you'd have to adjust the other appointment first.

pt: I drive 30 minutes to come to you for work and for my appointments and I do not want to drive there 2 days in a row. I need the appointment on Thursday for my ultrasound. I want to speak to Sharon in the department. She will squeeze me in. They will do anything for me and you're not helping.

me: Great, bye then.

Episode 54

As people wait on hold to talk to one of us schedulers, the message says to make sure they have their order, insurance card, etc. If you listen, you can clearly tell that we are the scheduling department for testing. Somehow...without fail...20% of the incoming calls have nothing to do with outpatient testing. How they get to us? I don't know. Must not be listening to the message at the beginning that talks about our department. Or maybe they are just so desperate to talk to a person they don't mind waiting? Who knows. 

Here are a few of those non-scheduling calls I received this week.

1. Hi, I'd like to set up a time for my post-rabies prophylaxis.

2. Hi, can you tell me where my daughter is? She was admitted yesterday through ER.

3. I need impact. (no idea what this is to be honest)

4. I need a second opinion on my tit squeeze. You know, a boob specialist. Can you help me?

5. Hi, I'm looking for ECT. You know, electro-cranial therapy? 

6. Hi, I read online that you have gambler's anonymous. Can you tell me the where and when?

7. My mom is in the ER. Can you tell me what room and if I can just show up and surprise her?

8. I have 3 kids just added to my care from foster care. They need an abuse exam. I need you to schedule.

9. My mom had stitches in the ER and they said we could come and get them removed. So when am I supposed to do that?

Episode 53

 me: Scheduling, how can I help you?

pt: I need a holter monitor. It's for 48 hours.

me: Okay, well the next available is September 8th at 11am. Does that day work for you?

pt: No, now you gotta remember I just got surgery and have a hard time getting up in the morning. I can't do that.

me: ...um, well I was not aware that you had a surgery. You did not mention that.

pt: I just mentioned it, so you gotta remember.

me: So then what are you looking for?

pt: I'm not going to be able to get out of bed. I need an appointment at the end of September.

me: How about September 28?

pt: I should be able to get out of bed by then, don't you think? Let's do it. And how long is 48 hours?

me: Is that a serious question?

pt: Yes! How long is 48 hours? That's 4 days, right?