Episode 65

 me: Hi, this is Emily calling from central scheduling at the place where I work. Is this Mr. Fred?

pt: Who did you say you were?

me: Central scheduling at place where I work.

pt: This is Mr. Fred. What do you want?

me: Well, your physician sent us an order for a vascular test for you, so I'm calling to see if you'd like to set up an appointment.

pt: Are you scamming me?

me: Um..no? Why would I be scamming you?

pt: My doctor didn't order any test. You're scamming me.

me: Doctor Alex ordered the test. Is that not your physician?

pt: That's my physician. I just saw him, he didn't tell me I needed a test. I don't want anything. This is clearly a scam. 

me: Then I'd recommend calling the physician because I can assure you, I'm not scamming you. I'll make a note you're calling your physician because you don't want the test done.

pt: Well now you're straight up lying. I didn't say I didn't want the test.

me: I'm sorry sir, you just told me that you don't want anything because you think I'm scamming you and the physician didn't order a test. 

pt: That's not true. You really are scamming me. This is ridiculous!

me: Okay I'm not sure what you want me to say. I can promise you I am not scamming you. 

pt: Goodbye!!

me: wut.