Episode 75

 me: Central Scheduling, how can I help you?

pt: My son needs to schedule an EGD. You people kept calling me back in September to schedule and I told you a bunch of times I couldn't schedule because I work and you needed to stop calling me. You gave me a number back in September to call when I was ready. I tried calling this morning to schedule and was told there was no order. Well I called his surgeon and they told me I don't need an order so you were wrong. You people are giving me the run around and I just need to schedule his EGD because he needs it before his surgery. I'm ready now and I need to schedule his EGD. And don't you dare transfer me somewhere else.

me: I'm not sure who "you people" are, because it wouldn't be our department. Our department does not schedule EGDs. The gastroenterologist offices do. So maybe they were the ones who called you back in September.

pt: Are you even listening to me? I told you it was you people. Your department who called me in September to schedule his EGD. Obviously there was an order placed then too because why else would you call me with no order. 

me: I was listening, but our department does not schedule EGDs so it would not have been us who called. Do you have the phone number they told you to call?

pt: You're clearly not listening and now I'm getting mad. 

me: I can promise you I am listening to you. 

pt: You expect me to have a number that I was given way back in September? What, you want me to go all the way back in my phone and look at my incoming calls?

me: I wasn't sure if maybe you had it written down or---

pt: So what, I'm just supposed to write down a number in September and keep it around?

me: Patients do that often. Their doctors will give them a number to call for an appointment for a later date and they will keep it on their fridge or something. It's actually pretty common. 

pt: That's just stupid. I don't have time for this. My son needs to schedule an EGD. You people said I can schedule. 

me: Well again, our department does not schedule EGDs. The gastro offices do. I can try and call the gastro office to see if they can tell me who you spoke with if you don't mind holding for a moment. 

pt: You better not be transferring me.

*puts pt on hold. calls gastro office*

me: Hi, I'm calling from Central Scheduling. We have a patient on the other line that is saying she needs to schedule an EGD and that my department called her to set that up. We don't call for that test so I'm trying to figure out who she needs to be talking to. Can you help?

office: What's the patient's name?

me: Bob Smith. It's his mom on the line.

office: We just got off the phone with her a few hours ago. Her son is a minor and we do not perform this procedure on minors. Plus there is no order in the system that has been placed.

me: She swears that someone called her back in September for an EGD. Do you happen to have any notes about something like that?

office: We keep notes back a year and we have nothing for this patient until today. There was no order in September. I have no idea what she is talking about. Also, if we saw the order was for a minor, we would have immediately called the ordering doctor anyway to let them know that we can't perform this procedure. And we told her all this earlier today. 

me: Alright then, well thanks for your help!

office: She's a piece of work. Good luck!

*hangs up, goes back to the mom*

me: I just spoke with the office and they are saying that they spoke with you earlier today regarding this appointment. They said because your son is a minor they can't perform the test. 

pt: I know, I told you that at the beginning, but you clearly weren't listening. 

me: Then I guess I'm confused why you are upset. If you knew that the test couldn't be performed, why are you calling?

pt: Because of you people!!

me: Alrighty well we are not getting anywhere. I recommend you call the surgeon because if this procedure is needed before the surgery, and the gastro office doesn't perform this procedure on minors. the surgeon will have to refer you to a different facility. But that is not something that I can help you with.

pt: Why are you people not doing your jobs!?

me: I really don't get why you keep saying "you people." 

pt: This is ridiculous.

me: I agree. I'm sorry but I have other calls I need to take so is there anything else I can help you with?

pt: Whatever. *hangs up

me: