Episode 36

On today's episode we switch things up from the classic conversation to describe reasons that I made patients mad today.

1. I called a patient while she was in a meeting, so when she answered I was being "rude and disrespectful." 

I'm sorry ma'am. I should have known that when I was calling you to see if you'd like to schedule your appointment that at that very moment you would be in a work meeting. It's very easy to send a call to voicemail, but I should not have even called you in the first place. My mistake.

2. A patient already had a test performed at a different hospital.

Sir, I apologize. With my all mighty powers I should have been able to see into the systems of all the other hospital systems to make sure that it was completed to know ahead of time not to call you. Next time, I will make sure to call around and see who breaks HIPAA to tell me if you have performed the test before I call and ask you if you still need that procedure.

3. I asked a patient for the diagnosis on her doctors order.

Karen, I do apologize if this upset you. This is standard information necessary for scheduling tests, but I should have known this would make you upset. It was not breaking HIPAA like you say, as this is my job to get the information for the departments. But you're right, I should report to my manager that I am slacking on my job and be better.

Episode 35

 You know what irks me? 

1. Patients who cannot pronounce the word mammogram. It's mamm-o-gram, not mamm-eo-gram! Really not that difficult.

2. When after I answer the phone and the patient says "how are you" and the continues talking, not allowing me to answer. Why ask how I'm doing if you truly do not care for a response?

3. When a patient tells me the doctor has not written a diagnosis, but immediately can find one when I tell them I can't schedule without one. Hmm... seems to me you were a big fat liar. Or just lazy. Probably the latter.

4. Mammograms have to be scheduled a year plus a day after the previous mammogram. This means that if a patient has their last mamm on April 24, the next one has to be anytime after April 25. So, when a patient says they need to schedule their yearly exam, I always ask if it has been over a year since the last mammogram. So...here me out. Why is it that 99% of people, when I ask that question, respond with a resounding YES and then proceed to tell me they received a reminder letter that it has to be scheduled after a date that is a month out. COME ON PEOPLE. That's not what over a year means! 

5. When a family member (usually a husband calling for the wife) calls to schedule. I will ask the family member for dates and times or ask health related questions that are necessary for the scheduling and the person on the phone will say "hold on" and then put me on hold to ask the patient the questions. Why not just have the patient call themselves if you don't know the answers to the questions or even the patient's availability? You're making this much more difficult than it needs to be. 

Episode 34

me: *place where I work* scheduling, how can I help you?

pt: I need you to look up my colonoscopy right now and we need to change the time.

me: I'm sorry, you'll have to call the doctor's office because we don't schedule or reschedule those appointments. The office does.

pt: Well I talked to one of you girls yesterday and she set up an appointment so that's not right. Just look it up and cancel it.

me: Our department doesn't schedule those tests. So it must not have been someone in our department you spoke with for that test. You have to call the office. I can give you their number if you'd like.

pt: My name is Karen Smith. What appointment do I have on the 23rd?

me: *pulls up pt* Okay Karen, you're scheduled for a mammogram on the 26th. That's the only thing I show you scheduled for. And it does look like it was scheduled yesterday. So that must be what test you scheduled in our department.

pt: Why the hell did she tell me the 23rd then for my colonoscopy?

me: I'm not sure that happened. It sounds like there is just a misunderstanding.

pt: Now I need my colonoscopy then. The number on the paper was your number to call and schedule.

me: Ma'am, I already told you that you have to call the doctors office.

pt: But it says on this paper that I need to call you.

me: Well the paper is incorrect. It's really not a big deal, I can give you the office number. 

pt: I'll just call my doctor there seems to be a mix up. I need a new paper then!

me: I mean, you really don't have to do that. All you need to do is call the gastro office. I have their number right here.

pt: Okay I'll call my doctor who gave me this paper. I want this mix up figured out this is ridiculous. *click*

me: 

Episode 33

me: Alright, and when you go to your MyChart the address and test prep instructions will be listen under the upcoming appointment information.

pt: What, you're not going to just tell me?

me: Well it's much easier for patients to look for themselves, rather than hear over the phone. That way there are no mistakes or mishearing things over the phone.

pt: Or you're just lazy.

me: Um...no. 

pt: Um...yes. Just give me the damn address. I ain't looking at no MyChart just so you don't have to do your job.

me: Okay I don't really understand why you're speaking to me like that. I am trying to make things easier for you. But if you want the address over the phone instead, it's *starts giving the address but gets cut off*

pt: Now was that so hard?

me: You didn't even hear the whole address.

pt: I'll just look on MyChart

me: Are you kidding me right now? 

pt: I love making people's days difficult. I hope you enjoyed that and had a good laugh!

me: 

Episode 32

pt: I need to schedule my mamm-eo-gram!

me: Okay, screening or diagnostic?

pt: Screening-bo-beening!

me: Alright, and do you have any breast implants?

pt: HELL NO! But I sure wish that I did, you know!? I'd have them big boobies!

me: 

Episode 31

pt: I need to cancel my appointment. It's been raining and I cannot raise my arms.

me: 

Episode 30

 Back from vacation!! And boy did I not miss this one bit.

pt: My doctor gave me this order for a nuclear stress test and I need it ASAP.

me: Well, next available is next week on Wednesday.

pt: Oh no absolutely not. I need it before next Wednesday.

me: Okay, well I will have to call the department.

*calls department - 5 minutes later*

me: Alright, they can get you in on Monday at 9am.

pt: Oh no! I can't do that! My son has surgery and he needs me to be there for support!

me: I can give you the number for the other locations if you'd like to try there and see if they can get you in before Wednesday if that Monday doesn't work for you.

pt: Well why can't they do Saturday or Sunday?

me: They only do this test Monday through Friday.

pt: That's just stupid. What do they do when patient's need the test and they aren't available? Just ask them, it's not that difficult.

me: I'm sorry, but no. I will not be asking them to come in on their day off to squeeze you in. Like I said, you can call the other locations and see if they have something before Wednesday.

pt: Why are you being unprofessional. Do your job, and ask them. My doctor is going to be so upset! He will never send a patient to your hospital ever again!

me: